Caring for aging parents as a couple without losing track of each other
https://www.connectedcouples.app/blog/caring-for-aging-parents-as-a-couple

Original Connected planning aid. Adapt these examples together. This is not a scored or validated assessment.

Supporting an aging parent

Separate care needs from couple commitments

TASK: Name a specific care need. What is needed, with the parent’s consent? ______

LEAD: Agree who owns coordination. Name: __________   Responsibility: __________

BACKUP: Plan for unavailable days. Person or service: ________________________

LIMIT: Make capacity and boundaries explicit. What is outside this commitment? ____________

REVISIT: Name a review date or change trigger. We revisit when: _________________________

Keep the parent’s agency central. Do not assume a partner becomes a caregiver.

Task and parent's preference
Example: Tuesday appointment; parent wants Lee to accompany them
Our draft: __________________________

Lead and full scope
Example: Lee confirms time, arranges transport and follows up
Our draft: __________________________

Confirmed backup
Example: Cousin agreed to transport if Lee is ill
Our draft: __________________________

Capacity limit
Example: Lee can cover one weekday visit this month
Our draft: __________________________

What happens if backup is unavailable
Example: Call the clinic to discuss available options; do not assume spouse can leave work
Our draft: __________________________


| Task | Lead | Backup | Limit | Revisit |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Planned appointment rides | Named person | Confirmed person or service | Which days and notice needed | If appointments change |
| Grocery order | Named person | Confirmed person | Agreed scope and frequency | After first delivery |
| Scheduling and updates | Named person | Confirmed person | Who receives which information | If preferences change |
| Weekend visit | Named person | Confirmed person | Start and end time | Before extending the pattern |
| Finding extra support | Named person | Another researcher | What options to investigate | When information is available |

Our next step: ______________________________
Who has agreed to do it: ____________________
We will revisit this on: ____________________