Connected works best when introduced in the context of a specific clinical moment — not as a generic "homework app." These five scripts map to the most common presentations where couples therapists have found the daily practice lands. Adapt the language; preserve the clinical framing.
1
The over-functioning partner
Presentation
Client reports exhaustion from managing the emotional labor of the relationship. Partner is disengaged, reactive, or present-but-absent.
Clinical framing
Imbalanced bids (Gottman); pursuer–distancer dynamic (EFT); learned avoidance in the under-functioning partner.
What to say
"What if we took the invisible labor of emotional noticing and made it reciprocal for a week? There's a tool I'd like both of you to try between now and our next session. It asks each of you the same question, separately, each night. Neither of you has to drive the conversation — that's the point."
2
The entrenched communication standoff
Presentation
Couple reports "we just can't talk anymore." Conversations either escalate or go dead.
Clinical framing
EFT negative cycle; entrenched positions; emotional flooding at conversation onset.
What to say
"The conversations you're not having are louder than the ones you are. I'd like to try something that takes the pressure off you to initiate. Connected gives each of you one question a night. Neither of you picks it, neither of you brings it up — you just answer, and in the morning you see what the other wrote. We'll bring the answers here and I'll help you work with what surfaces."
3
Pre-marital / newly-committed
Presentation
Couple entering pre-marital work. Relatively high-functioning. Want to build a strong foundation before habits calcify.
Clinical framing
Love map building (Gottman); generative window of early commitment; habit architecture.
What to say
"You two are in one of the most generative moments of your relationship — before habits calcify. I'd like us to add a daily practice between sessions, built around Gottman's research on what long-term couples actually do right. It's 60 seconds. The questions are mostly about noticing your partner, not fixing anything."
4
Post-affair / post-breach repair
Presentation
Couple 3+ months into repair after infidelity or major trust breach. Past crisis, into rebuilding phase.
Clinical framing
Transparency, predictability, sustained attunement repair. Daily evidence over occasional declarations.
What to say
"Repair needs daily evidence, not just occasional statements. I want to add a tool where both of you show up — quietly, for 60 seconds each night. The reliability is the intervention. You don't need to solve anything. You just need to keep showing up at the same time, answering the same question."
5
Individual client with a non-participating partner
Presentation
Individual client in therapy. Partner is not engaged in their own therapy and reports "never talks about real things."
Clinical framing
Loneliness-within-partnership; attachment injuries; avoiding escalation while inviting engagement.
What to say
"I know your partner isn't in therapy and I'm not asking them to be. But there's a lower-stakes on-ramp — a 60-second daily practice where you both answer a question and see each other's answers. You could propose it like this: 'I'd like us to try this 60-second thing each night for a month. No discussion unless we want to.' That's usually enough."
Connected