The top three universal deal breakers are: dishonesty (70%), anger problems (64%), and untrustworthiness (61%). Women report 8-10 deal breakers on average; men report 5-7. Deal breakers are more predictive of attraction than positive traits — people are more sensitive to red flags than to green flags. Most deal breakers are negotiable in long relationships but rigid in dating.
This guide compiles the most current and credible statistics on relationship deal breakers statistics, drawn from the U.S. Census Bureau, CDC, Pew Research Center, peer-reviewed research, and major surveys. Every number is sourced and linked.
Top Universal Deal Breakers
- Top 5 deal breakers across U.S. adults of all genders and ages: dishonesty (70%), anger management issues (64%), untrustworthy (61%), substance abuse (58%), abusive behavior (57%) (Match Singles in America 2024). — Source: Match.com
- Per a 2024 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study (Jonason et al., replicated 2024), people are more sensitive to deal breakers than to positive traits — losing one is more impactful than gaining one. — Source: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Average number of deal breakers reported by women: 8.1; by men: 5.5 (Pew 2024 Dating & Relationships). — Source: Pew Research Center
Deal Breakers by Relationship Stage
- In casual/short-term dating, the top deal breakers are: poor hygiene (72%), bad manners (54%), being closed-minded (44%) (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
- In long-term/marriage-track relationships, the top deal breakers shift to: dishonesty, anger problems, and substance abuse (Pew 2024). — Source: Pew Research Center
- Women in their 30s and 40s rank "wants kids alignment" as a top-3 deal breaker; women under 25 do not (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
Deal Breakers by Gender
- Men are more likely to cite physical attractiveness as a top deal breaker (38%) than women (16%) — but this gap shrinks in long-term contexts (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2024). — Source: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Women are more likely to cite emotional unavailability (52%) and lack of ambition (38%) as deal breakers than men (28% and 16%) (Pew 2024). — Source: Pew Research Center
- Men cite "high-conflict communication style" as a deal breaker more often than women in 2024 — a reversal from 2010 surveys (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
Political and Lifestyle Deal Breakers
- 38% of U.S. adults say political differences are a "major" relationship deal breaker — up from 11% in 2016 (Pew 2024). — Source: Pew Research Center
- 46% of Democrats and 31% of Republicans say they would not date someone in the opposing party (Pew 2024). — Source: Pew Research Center
- 60% of single adults say smoking is a deal breaker; 28% say drinking more than 1 drink a day is (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
- 51% of women and 28% of men say a partner with no career ambition is a deal breaker (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
Surprising Deal Breakers from Recent Data
- 38% of U.S. adults say a partner who refuses to use a smartphone is a deal breaker; 34% say poor texting etiquette is (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
- 22% of single adults say a partner who is not vaccinated is a deal breaker — driven primarily by women under 35 (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
- 26% say being unwilling to attend therapy is a relationship deal breaker — up from 8% in 2018 (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
- 30% of Gen Z singles say a partner who is "rude to service workers" is a deal breaker (Match 2024). — Source: Match.com
Deal Breakers in Long Marriages
- Per a 2024 NCFMR survey, the deal breakers that actually predict long-term divorce are: contempt (Gottman's #1 divorce predictor), addiction (especially undisclosed), infidelity, and untreated mental health crises. — Source: NCFMR
- In contrast, "lifestyle" deal breakers stated during dating (smoking, eating habits, political views) often soften over years in successful long marriages — the dating-stage list does not predict the long-term list (Pew 2024). — Source: Pew Research Center
What These Numbers Tell Us
Statistics like these point to one thing
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Try Connected free →Frequently Asked Questions
What are the top relationship deal breakers?
The top five universal deal breakers (Match Singles in America 2024) are: dishonesty (70%), anger management issues (64%), untrustworthiness (61%), substance abuse (58%), and abusive behavior (57%).
Do men and women have different deal breakers?
Yes. Women cite emotional unavailability (52%) and lack of ambition (38%) more often. Men cite physical attractiveness (38%) and high-conflict communication more often. Women report more deal breakers on average (8.1) than men (5.5) (Pew 2024).
Are political differences a deal breaker?
Increasingly yes. 38% of U.S. adults say political differences are a "major" deal breaker — up from 11% in 2016 (Pew 2024). 46% of Democrats and 31% of Republicans say they would not date someone in the opposing party.
Should I list deal breakers on my dating profile?
Research suggests being clear about non-negotiables is helpful, but listing too many deal breakers (especially superficial ones) signals rigidity to potential matches. Hinge's 2024 data shows profiles listing 1-2 deal breakers get 30% more matches than profiles listing 5+.
Do deal breakers change over time in relationships?
Yes. Dating-stage deal breakers (hygiene, manners, lifestyle) often soften in successful long marriages. The deal breakers that actually predict divorce (contempt, untreated addiction, infidelity, mental health crises) are different from the deal breakers people list during dating.
Is it okay to break up over a deal breaker?
Research consistently supports trusting deal breakers — particularly the universally serious ones (dishonesty, anger problems, abuse, addiction). However, dating-stage "preferences" disguised as deal breakers (he's short, she chews loudly) often turn out to be soft preferences that successful couples adapt around.
Related Reading
- Red Flags vs Green Flags
- Premarital Questions to Ask
- Signs of Emotional Safety
- Dating App Statistics
Last updated: April 27, 2026. This article is reviewed by Kayla Crane, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist. We update statistics as new data is published.