Rebuilding Trust Worksheet for Couples

Use this page only for what each person chooses to share. Do not demand graphic details or treat a written account as a cross-examination.

Example

"When you hid the expense, I lost confidence that I understood our shared bills. I need to talk about how decisions will be handled. I am not ready to promise that I feel okay."

1. The agreement or expectation that was broken was...
2. The impact I want understood, without debating it away, is...
3. What I am ready to discuss now, and what I am not ready to discuss:

Answer separately, then take turns sharing. The PDF has writing space for Partner A and Partner B.

The person responsible for the broken agreement completes the first two prompts. The other person can respond to the third, pass, or write privately. No apology purchases forgiveness.

Example

"I chose not to tell you. That left you making decisions with missing information. I will bring up shared expenses before committing, and tell you promptly if I miss that agreement."

1. The choice I made, and its impact that I can acknowledge without excuses:
2. What I am willing to do differently, including how I will handle a mistake:
3. What would help me decide whether this repair is meaningful, if I want to continue:

Use the writing space in the PDF for your shared notes or the named person’s response.

Write actions you can actually observe over time. Avoid permanent surveillance, forced access to private accounts or restrictions on friendships as proof of trust.

A request can be declined. If your needs and your partner's choices do not fit, name that difference rather than disguising pressure as a shared agreement.

At the agreed time, look at what happened and how each person feels. Progress can be uneven. You may decide to continue, change the plan, seek help, or stop trying to repair together.

Example

"The agreed updates happened, which matters. I still feel unsettled. I want more time and individual support before deciding what comes next."

1. What has actually happened since we made the plan?
2. What do I feel clearer about, and what still feels uncertain?
3. What next step do I freely choose? What support would help me make that choice?

Answer separately, then take turns sharing. The PDF has writing space for Partner A and Partner B.